Why is overcommitting underrated? Saying “no” may become your source of power.
In high school, "opportunity" is gold. We're taught to join clubs, take charge, volunteer, intern, work diligently on rewrites, mingle, get enough sleep, and figure out a way to balance it all somehow. So, we say "yes" to it all. But here's the truth no one shared with me sooner: each "yes" has a cost.
When I first started juggling school, volunteering, and group work, I was inspired. However, soon, the excitement was supplanted by exhaustion. I was always "on," running from one responsibility to the next. And slowly but surely, I lost sight of why I even started any of it.
This is overcommitting. It's not flashy. It creeps up on you. It masquerades as ambition, goodness, and being a "team player." But it's unsustainable. And worse, it can disembody you from yourself.
That's when I discovered the gentle power of saying "no."
Saying no gives you room to do your "yeses" better. It is about protecting your energy so you can be present, imaginative, and committed. It is about being able to rest, reflect, and grow without burning out.
For that reason alone, learning to say no is one of the strongest and least appreciated abilities you can acquire, especially as a student.
Saying no doesn't mean you're lazy; it makes you honest. It means you care enough about your time, energy, and peace to speak against those things that are not necessary for you.
You've learned your worth isn't how much stuff you can carry.
If this is a challenge for you, one that a lot of us face, here's what helps:
- Take a moment before you answer.
You don't have to commit on the spot. Try: " Let me think about it and get back to you." This simple sentence gives you space to weigh whether it's something you truly desire or feel pressured to do. - Be firm but polite.
Your ‘no’ doesn’t require a novel attached to it. A soft, "I really appreciate the offer, but I won't be able to take it on at this time," will suffice. Your no is good enough without the short story justifying why you cannot do something. - Remember your priorities
What are you working towards? What is most important to you in the present? If something takes you away from that without fostering joy or purpose, maybe you shouldn't say yes. - Trust that boundaries bring people closer.
Saying no doesn't repel all your buddies; it simply brings the good ones, those who care about your integrity, not your availability, closer.
As high-achieving students, we dread lost opportunities. But here's the secret: every "yes" is a trade. You're trading time, energy, and focus. And if you say yes to everything, you do it halfway and resent it all.
When you begin to say no with purpose, something changes. You have more energy for the yeses that you do give. Your relationships grow stronger. You break free from autopilot and begin directing yourself with more intention.
Next time someone requests your time, energy, or attention, ask yourself:
"Am I saying yes because I want to?
Or because I'm scared of what will happen if I say no?"
Saying no will not put you behind. It will not make you invisible. It will not slam all the doors.
What it will do is make room for focus, clarity, balance, and for a life that doesn't feel like one haze after another.
You do not have to do it all, you just have to do enough and sometimes, the bravest thing you can say is: "No, not this time."