The Nine Months That Defined My Future
People quote careers, relationships and regrets as the more defining moments of life. For me, it was the nine months from December 2024 to August 2025, until I finally knew what my life after high school would look like. This was a time of all-nighters, staying up 12 hours to complete a full-blown registration process before the deadline because I didn’t even know applications were open until a day ago, winging personal statements, putting in months and months of effort into them, doubting myself, rejections over and over again, unimaginable euphoria when I got in where I wanted, heartbreak when I realised I couldn’t go, all five stages of grief and learning along with some more that I discovered by myself. All while figuring out where I would be spending the next four years of my life. There’s something about picking apart and reassembling yourself to fit into the eligibility criteria of colleges all over the world that really shapes you for life. This is how it shaped me.
The big questions we fit into 4000 characters:
It’s just a personal statement, right? That's what I thought when I was trying to complete my first one in less than 5 hours. 4:23 a.m. on a random night in December, I was trying to answer questions like who I am, what I want to be and how I will get there with the support of an unhealthy amount of energy drinks and the clicking of my laptop keys. And here’s the truth: while you can easily make things up, which I had to do by the end, it really gets you thinking. Why are you putting so much effort into a major? What does that say about you? Why do you want this so badly? It may seem like I’m exaggerating, but the process of answering all those questions in the application forms helps you understand yourself in a way years of self-reflection cannot. Because by the time I was writing my fourth and final personal statement, these were questions I could answer by myself with confidence, clarity and a lot of pride. I knew what I wanted and I knew what I would have to do to get here. Just a college application, and it gave me a plan for my life.
Rejection and Acceptance, what it does to us:
My first one was the application I completed in 12 hours and it was a massive failure, but back then I was so proud of myself for even completing it, I didn’t mind. Then came the ones I was confident about; I put actual effort into them. These were pieces and proof of my ambition and capability that I laid out for admission committees. It's definitely an experience reading the words: “we regret to inform you…” It makes you question your worth, it makes you cry and lose faith in your abilities, it stops you from moving on and doing better. But here’s what you learn: while your portfolio might not be what every university is looking for, every rejection is an opportunity to improve until you are accepted in places that actually match your energy. All criticism is constructive and every rejection is a natural way of shortlisting to places where you’ll actually thrive. There’s no such thing as a “bad college,” it honestly just matters what you make of your time there. Plus, the acceptances make up for all the emotional trauma this process causes you. For me, these months were worth all the acceptance letters I got.
Reason, practicality and realisticness:
The metaphor I like to use to describe this part is of Sisyphus and the rock. He keeps pushing it up the mountain and just as he reaches the top, it rolls back down to the base. That is how it feels to look over the factors of all colleges, picking the best one for yourself. Fee structure, campus, faculty, majors, ranking, accommodation, student jobs, distance, etc. You find colleges that fit 6/8 of all categories, ones that are almost perfect, ones that are 2/8 but the two factors, for example the campus, are so inviting that you want to forget all about everything else, then colleges that are entirely perfect. But they’re not what you always dreamed of. That’s where you learn the essential skills of reason, practicality and realisticness. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes things work out perfectly and you end up going to your dream college, the one you saved all the paraphernalia of. Sometimes though, these months teach you how to stash all those brochures and stickers in a drawer and let go of that dreamy student life. It teaches you to accept the most reasonable and practical offer from a college that reached a perfect compromise of all your criteria, and somewhere along the way, you also learn to love that place. One month into my “compromise college,” I’m already thinking of buying merch.
You are your Best Friend:
Before I actually got around to it, I thought the application process would look something like this: people you love cheering around you as you open your acceptances, helpful meetings with a career counsellor, glowing recommendations, an easy but meaningful learning process, etc. I was in for a big news flash once I actually started applying. I needed someone to be holding my hand as I hit submit for all my applications, but I had to do them entirely on my own, fighting through layers and layers of anxiety and technical errors. I had to give entry tests on zero sleep an hour before I got the worst news of my life. I had to sit through many uncomfortable times in a counsellor’s office while I got “constructive feedback” on my applications that just made me feel like I was failing. And it was in those moments of complete loneliness that I realised I was doing a very difficult, very uncomfortable, very challenging thing all on my own. This realization also turned into an acknowledgement of the fact that I was doing a great job, I was making it fun and productive and that I didn’t need someone holding my hand or someone to tell me who I was. No one knew that better than I did. And no one could help me more through this time than myself. By the end of it, I appreciated myself a lot more and I was glad for it.
Before you go…
Maybe when you look back, these months will seem like a mere blip before the enthralling university life starts. But being in the process makes you feel terribly lonely. There were times when I felt like everyone else was figuring it out and I was falling behind. Times when I highly doubted if I would even be going to college come September. The accumulation of all these uncomfortable feelings described above can really get to you. And this article probably won’t fix that, but it is visual proof of the fact that these months do pass, and they end, the transitional period stops somewhere and you move forward. What college accepts you stops being the biggest thing in your life and you feel proud of yourself. So gear up and read this as many times as you need to, but be brave and make it through. Because I promise that when you do, it will be worth it.
By,
Aatika Riaz